Granted, I can’t guarantee the promise of happiness, but a recent article entitled “Science Says Parents of Successful Kids Have These 13 Things in Common (How to Raise an Adult) as praising chores because it teaches children that “they have to do the work of life to be a part of life.”
Let’s look at the benefit of homework a little further (and I’ll state my unscientifically proven theory as to why it also makes children happier).
1. Doing homework boosts self-esteem
Self-esteem is confidence in one’s own worth and abilities. Young children may not have learned to read and older children may have trouble with long division or quadratic equations, but most children can learn to make the bed and sweep the floor. Are these worthwhile chores? Of course they are.
And it is much easier for a child to understand the usefulness of a clean floor than it is to understand how much algebra will serve him in his life. Children who feel capable and competent have higher self-esteem. Homework is an area in which most children can develop competence with relative ease.
2. Doing homework makes children feel needed.
When we look out for our children, we give them a misconception of their own importance. Ironically, like praising children too lavishly, doing everything for them does nothing to make them feel important, but rather makes them feel adrift and disconnected. What children want to feel is that they are important because their family needs them?
When Dill’s character in To Kill a Mockingbird explains to Scout, the protagonist, why she runs away from home, Scout wonders “what I would do if Atticus [her father] did not feel the need for my presence, help, and advice” (143). Scout strongly recognizes her place in her family and knows how essential it is for her to feel needed by them. Contributing to the family’s well-being by performing household chores is a great way for children to feel that they are an integral cog in the wheel of a smooth family life.
3. Doing chores shares the work
In previous generations, families had many children precisely because a large work force was needed to maintain the family farm or business. As soon as they could walk, the children were given simple chores. In this way, all the chores of life were accomplished and families prospered.
Today, while chores are more mechanized and there are fewer chores to do at home, people are also much busier outside the home. With parents working and children going out to a packed schedule of extracurricular, there is very little time left for the chores that are. And yet, “according to a 2014 survey by Braun Research, 82% of adults surveyed said they had regular chores growing up, but only 28% reported asking their children to do any (July 12, 2015).
Wow!!!! Instead, imagine a household where work was shared as equally as possible among family members. The children would have a much greater appreciation for what it takes to keep everyone fed and dressed in clean clothes. Appreciation is linked to happiness!
4. Having children do chores reduces parental stress.
With only 28% of children helping out on a regular basis, parents come home from a full day of work and face a night full of chores. Just thinking about it is exhausting. Parents complain that they don’t have time to hang out with their kids. But is it because their kids are watching TV or playing video games while their parents are cooking dinner? How about having the kids in the kitchen with you? One child can grate cheese while another cuts vegetables.
While children’s hands and attention are busy is a good time to ask deeper, open-ended questions. Chore time becomes connection time, and human connection is one of the most important factors for happiness. One last hidden factor in reducing stress is that parents who aren’t up washing dishes or folding laundry after their children have gone to bed can have time to sit next to each other and connect! Connected parents do a better job of supporting their children and making them feel safe.
5. Housework teaches kids skills they can use in school.
Huh? How does doing laundry help you write a clear, well-supported essay? Well, doing laundry teaches responsibility, accountability, planning, attention to detail, and follow-through (have you ever had a load of laundry get moldy because you forgot to put it in the dryer?) Aren’t all of those skills what you need to write an essay?
Of course they are. And in all sorts of school-related tasks, like doing homework on time, turning it in, breaking assignments into several steps, etc. Children who have learned to take on tasks on their own are the same ones who learn independently. They also make excellent team members for group work. They know that many hands make light work and are ready to do their part. They don’t expect someone else – let alone mom or dad – to do the work for them.
And that’s not all.
So here are four arguments for homework increasing your kids’ happiness and one argument for homework increasing their success in school (not to mention later in life). And here’s one more argument: Doing chores in childhood helps teach children early on about work/life balance. Life isn’t just about doing schoolwork, dutifully practicing the piano and going to soccer practice.
It is also about creating a healthy living space and cooking nutritious meals that bring the family together. These have been the pillars of a happy home for a long time. Oh, and did I mention that kids who participate in cooking have more varied and nutritious diets? And that kids who participate in laundry and cleaning take better care of their clothes and toys? Really, the more I think about it, the longer the list gets.
