Erectile dysfunction, or ED, can be caused and exacerbated by both physical and mental struggles. Most men will experience ED at some point in their lives, according to WebMD. While the causes can vary widely, one factor that’s almost always present is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can be the root of ED, but it can also manifest because of ED.
Figuring out ways to manage low self-esteem may help you to overcome it, although that’s not guaranteed. Regardless, understanding that you’re not alone and taking steps to improve your self-esteem will naturally improve your mental health, and in turn, your and your partner’s overall quality of life.
Being Mindful and Aware May Help
Low self-esteem can feed on itself. Those feelings of inadequacy can make you feel like you’re somehow broken and not living up to your full potential. When you experience those feelings of doubt and other intrusive thoughts, try to confront them head-on. Having ED is completely normal, and it happens to men from all walks of life, including successful men who one would think to have it all.
Remember that millions of men all over the world go through similar negative thought processes—even those that don’t have ED. Take comfort in knowing that you have inherent value as a human being and that the human experience comes with tough times—nobody’s immune to them. Try to focus on your positive traits, experiences, and accomplishments.
There’s Nothing Wrong with Supplementing Your Sex Life
Often, the reason for ED-related self-esteem issues is because you feel like you’re not able to please your partner sexually. Take this as an opportunity to explore new avenues in your sex life. There are plenty of ways to please your partner without using your penis! You can also use devices like penis sleeves and cock rings to further improve sexual relations with your partner.
It’s no secret that taking the plunge and using sex toys and/or devices can be intimidating. However, you can take comfort knowing that the taboos of old are long gone. These days, using sex toys and devices to supplement one’s sex life is extremely common. Discuss it with your partner beforehand—you might be surprised by how willing they are to explore this option with you.
Focus on Other Aspects of Your Relationship
In healthy relationships, sex is only one part of the equation. If you feel like you’re not pleasing your partner, try making them happy in other ways. Take them out for a nice dinner, get them a meaningful present, or simply tell them you love them. A little romance can go a long way in rekindling affection, and you may even find that those moments can lead to stronger intimacy in the bedroom.
Try Not to Overthink It
Self-esteem issues tend to be cyclical. Escaping the cycle is a challenge, but it’s not impossible. When things don’t work out in sexual situations, try to laugh it off and switch to other ways of pleasing your partner, instead of dwelling on your negative emotions. Sex should be fun, so try not to let something as common as ED get in the way of that. It may take time, and change can be scary, but if you focus on overcoming your challenges in creative ways, you and your partner will both end up happier in the long run.
