I’m not going to lie. When my girlfriend of three years broke up with me, it hurt. A lot. We were in the middle of planning our wedding and I didn’t see this coming at all. The breakup was so shocking that I couldn’t even believe it had happened. I felt like I was stuck in an episode of The Twilight Zone where everything around me was moving at normal speed—except for me and my heartbroken self who had been left behind by her forever. It was hard to get over her because we had been together for so long, but after several months, here are some things that helped me move on:
1. I got back in shape
A lot of people don’t realize this, but working out can be a great way to get over a breakup. You’ll not only look and feel better, but you’ll also find that your mind is more at ease. The act of going through the motions with exercise—and seeing how it improves your body and health—can help you mentally move on from the relationship as well.
2. I surrounded myself with good friends
I’m not saying that you should only hang out with your friends when you’re down, but it sure does help to have someone there to cheer you up and make you feel better about life. And I promise it doesn’t need to be a romantic partner!
It’s so easy for me to go through the motions of my day-to-day life without stopping to think about what I’m doing or why it matters. It’s rare that I take the time to ask myself if the decision is worth it in the long run, or if maybe this is just an attempt at distracting myself from focusing on something deeper.
3. I went on dates
If you’ve been through a breakup, chances are that your dating life has taken a hit. You might have been going on dates before the breakup, but now you’re back to square one. This can be really tough because dating is an important part of growing as an adult and learning about yourself and others.
In order to move forward with your dating life after a break-up, it’s important to remember these things:
· Dating is fun! It’s also exciting and nerve-wracking at times (especially if this is your first time), but it’s all worth it in the end when you find someone who makes life better for you.
· Dating will help you learn more about yourself as well as other people around you. Remember that everyone has their own story—it’s up to each person how they choose to live their own lives!
4. I changed my perspective on relationships
I began to realize that in order for me to be happy, I needed to change how I viewed relationships. Instead of looking at them as a way to make myself feel better, or as a means of gaining something (like companionship), I began seeing them as an opportunity to give love and get love. This didn’t mean that I stopped looking for a significant other, but it did mean that if the right person came along and we clicked, great! If not, then so be it!
5. It’s true – I used to visit brothels and it was great!
I’m not trying to brag, but my past is filled with a lot of crazy stories. One of them was visiting exciting Melbourne brothels. I had a need to be with women, but I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. The brothels helped me regain my confidence and feel like a real man again. I met a lot of fantastic girls and we had a great time.
6. Go crazy on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat/etc
One of the first things I did was log out of all my social media accounts – except Twitter and Instagram – so that I didn’t have access to my ex-girlfriends or our mutual friends’ updates. Then, I noticed that all of my friends were posting pictures from their nights out, and even though these photos weren’t tagged with her name, it still felt like she was there in spirit and in every post, she made about her new boyfriend (which she did often). So instead of doing that, I went crazy on social media for a few hours.
From this point of view, I can say that it is best to log out of all profiles and devote yourself to really recovering.
7. I started my own business and was totally committed to it
I didn’t know how long it would take me to get over her — or even if I ever could. But what I did know was that I couldn’t stay at work any longer and keep drowning myself in misery every day. So I went out on a limb and started my own business doing something that I love: writing articles online! It wasn’t easy at first because I didn’t have any money saved up yet, but luckily my parents helped me out by giving me some money so that I could start paying rent for an apartment of my own again. And as soon as I got settled into my new place, everything started falling into place quickly!
Breakups are hard, but they are survivable. You can become a much better version of yourself when you learn the lessons. Sending you lots of support.